We usually run this column on Mondays, but the Clemens press conference inspired us to be petulant and storm out of things, so we walked away from our keyboard in a huff, drove back to our mansion in Memorial, and injected our kids whose names all begin with K's with horse steroids. After we calmed down and called our lawyer, we compiled this list of links. Here's what the sports blogosphere is talking about this......

For once, there's a reason to watch 60 Minutes beyond Andy Rooney's senile rants. Everyone's favorite hometown anti-hero, Roger Clemens, will be featured on Sunday's episode of the ABC news magazine, talking with his personal friend Mike Wallace about the steroid use allegations that surfaced as part of the Mitchell Report last month. Ever since the report came out, Clemens has issued a series of denials, starting with a press release, working up to a......

Yes, we know that this column usually runs on Mondays. But on Monday, we were dodging the crowds in search of a couple of final presents, and were still reeling from the woodshed beating the Texans received at the hands of the Colts. We saw beleaguered soccer moms parking their Suburbans at the mall with better timing and depth perception than some of Sage Rosenfels' passes on Sunday. Anyway, on to the links: - Chuck......

Good morning, Houston. We enjoy a good, quick breakfast as much as anyone, but seriously, there are limits — just ask the four people who were hurt Monday when a driver who was eating oatmeal at the wheel crashed into a Metro bus near downtown. Witnesses told KPRC that the driver ran a red light at Pierce and St. Charles and hit the front of the bus, which caused the driver's vehicle to spin......

Good morning, Houston. As we prepare for the rain chance to increase again — yeah, sorry, we hate to be the bearers of bad news — we're stopping for a second to realize just how much it's rained so far this month. Officially, we've had 8.34 inches of rain so far in July, smashing the 2.34-inch average for the month and making this the eighth-wettest July on record. And there's still a week left......

Remember Dan Duncan, the founder of pipeline company Enterprise Products Partners and the richest man in Houston? He's in the news again today, but this time it isn't for his wealth. Instead, Duncan may face criminal charges connected with a 2002 hunting trip in Siberia; it seems Duncan shot and killed a moose and sheep from a helicopter during the trip, a practice that's illegal in Russia. And though no complaints or charges were filed......

So you know how Lakewood Church pastors Joel and Victoria Osteen have taken a vow of poverty, right? Yeah, yeah, we're kidding — but if you're anything like Houstonist, you've wondered at one time or another exactly how much the Osteens are worth. (Go ahead, admit it.) Turns out we're not the only ones: Reginald McKamie, the attorney for Continental flight attendant Sharon Brown, asked a judge yesterday to make the Osteens' net worth public......

Things are apparently progressing — slowly — in the lawsuit against Victoria Osteen filed in September: The Chronicle is reporting that the attorney for a flight attendant accusing Osteen, the wife of Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen, of assault wants to have the interior of the airplane where the incident occurred photographed. This all goes back to Dec. 19, 2005, when Osteen reportedly went ballistic about some liquid that had been spilled on her first-class......

So here we are in the first full day of a World Without Anna Nicole — and though she's gone, the news isn't likely to stop anytime soon. Today, the medical examiner's office in Broward County, Fla., will conduct an autopsy on Smith to see if it can determine how she died, and closer to home, experts say her legal battles will probably stay in the courts for quite some time. First, what we know......

Jurors yesterday found Mayor Bill White's teenage daughter Elena not guilty of her DWI charge, saying video of White taking field sobriety tests when cops pulled her over July 31 didn't seem to show that she was intoxicated. During the trial, high-powered defense attorney Rusty Hardin focused on mistakes the officers made when they pulled White over; in his closing arguments, he referred to the cops as "the three stooges," KHOU reports. Harris County Deputy......

Under questioning in the first day of the mayor's daughter's DWI trial, the Harris County deputy who arrested Elena White testified yesterday that he made some mistakes, including letting another deputy constable block the view from the camera mounted in his patrol car while White was taking field sobriety tests. Pct. 5 Deputy Constable Nicholas Derkowski, who had been on the force for about two months when he arrested White on Memorial Drive on Aug.......

Good morning, Houston. We're still a little foggy from yesterday's Super Bowl parties — and from the point in the second quarter when we started thinking about when we might see the Texans in the big game (don't try it — it'll make your head hurt, trust us). If you got your no-more-football party on, this might not be a bad time to kick back, down a hangover cure and catch up on some......

From the "stories you thought you'd heard the last of" file, we bring you news that Victoria Osteen, the wife of Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen, has been fined $3,000 by the FAA for interfering with a Continental Airlines flight attendant last year — and she's facing a lawsuit by a flight attendant who claims Osteen assaulted her during the now-infamous on-board snit. Surely you remember the story of Victoria Osteen's run-in with Continental personnel......

We were sitting around this weekend wondering what happened to everyone's favorite city councilwoman — no, not that one; we're talking about Carol Alvarado, who stepped down as mayor pro-tem after it was discovered staffers in her pro-tem office took $143,000 in unauthorized pay bonuses. It's been quite a while since we heard anything in the pro-tem case, but now, finally, there's some news: The four dismissed pro-tem employees and Alvarado herself will testify before......

Elena White, the mayor's 17-year-old daughter who was arrested last week for a possible DWI, appeared in court this morning and got a little defense from her mom. Andrea White echoed what her husband, Bill, said last week about the incident: "Elena is a responsible adult and she was driving home from a friend's house in the neighborhood before 11 p.m.," Andrea White said. "We've, as you can imagine, had long conversations with our daughter......

Yesterday morning, we talked about Mayor Bill White's 17-year-old daughter, Elena, getting arrested for allegedly driving while intoxicated. It seemed innocuous enough at first: The mayor said she made a bad decision and that he was glad she was safe. But by the end of the day, White had changed his tune a little: Now he says his daughter doesn't think she was drunk and the arrest might have been a mistake. Elena White was......

Ever since Greater Houston Convention and Visitors Bureau head Jordy Tollett went blond back in 2003, we've suspected there was something of the wild child about him — and now we know what: Earlier this week, KPRC's cameras followed Tollett around and filmed him whiling away the hours with liquid lunches. And that may cost Tollett his job, the Chronicle reports. Channel 2 spotted Tollett spending a two-hour lunches sitting at bars at the Front......

City Councilwoman and former Mayor Pro Tem Carol Alvarado used at least four city employees to set up meetings with a personal client who has paid her nearly $75,000 in consulting fees since 2002, despite her earlier assertion that she never asked staffers to do non-city work, the Chronicle reports today. Messages from Alvarado's city e-mail account show Alvarado asked city workers to set up meetings on several occasions with San Antonio buinessman Rudy Rodriguez,......

After a jury deadlock, plastic surgeon Mark Gilliland agreed to serve two years in jail for a hit-and-run last year that severely injured two women; Rusty Hardin will represent the victims in a civil suit The city may sue Valero because its Houston refinery has been responsible for air-quality violations Former Gov. Ann Richards, speaking at the announcement that an Austin school will be named for her, said she plans to beat cancer of the......

Wow — we almost thought we were going to go a week without news of another development in the City Hall payroll scandal. Sure, there was the story of Rosita Hernandez's amazing disappearing GED, but that didn't really count as breaking news. Fortunately, there is something as we close out the week: The FBI has asked for the bank records of former Mayor Pro Tem Carol Alvarado, though DA Chuch Rosenthal said she's not the......

City Councilwoman and Mayor Pro Tem Carol Alvarado, who has found herself at the center of a city employee spending scandal, got a little more defensive Monday, hiring high-profile lawyer Rusty Hardin and a PR firm to help her cope. Though Alvarado has maintained that she didn't have anything to do with the employees in the mayor pro tem office taking extravagant payraises and more than $140,000 in unauthorized bonuses, the question remains how all......