Quick! Name the most-watched television program of all time. Last year's thrilling Super Bowl? A mere 97.5 million viewers. The series final of "M*A*S*H" in 1983? 106 million viewers, tops in American television history -- but a fraction of the 396 million people who watched last year's Spring Festival Gala on CCTV, China's state-owned television network. Aired the night before Chinese New Year, the broadcast ranges all over the cultural map: acrobats, comedians, Olympic athletes, Taiwanese pop singers, astronauts, politicians, movie stars (like Zhang Ziyi, who famously flubbed her lipsynch last year), even dancing Chinese army recruits. It's the ultimate can't miss-program, not least because it's broadcast on nearly every channel. Think you're seeing a lot of Ryan Seacrest now? Imagine a world in which he is -- literally -- on every station.

Missed Connections: Gefilte Fish...and "Chain Connections"