Houston's Missed Connections: To the rescue!

Does anyone else suffer from crippling shyness at the gym? We read these painful exercise-inspired posts all the time on Craigslist's Missed Connections and thought we'd wonder aloud how common this problem is. People seem to have a really hard time finding love on the elliptical. For instance, the woman below doesn't even seem to care who she attracts; she just wants a gym boyfriend.

24hour fitness greenbriar and holcolmbe

So many cute boys at the gym. I'm moderately shy, and really tired of a "hello"/smile combo being misconstrued for a "I want to be on you and have your babies and then quit my job and watch soaps all day while I get fat and refuse to have sex with you" so I won't say hi. Haha- I dont' want any of that, I dont' even want to have a relationship, I just want to smile and say hi (just in case that wasn't clear).

But there are a lot of you- like the cute dark haired guy with the blue eyes that takes superfluous trips to teh water fountain (and I"m pretty sure I went to high school with you).

Or the cute guy with the blonde hair and the glasses that listens to his ipod while doing the chest press. Actually, there are two cute guys with blonde hair and glasses.

Or even the guy that I always patiently wait for and smile at while I wait for that machine where you move the arms around, over by the sit up balls and mats.

Anyway- hello, boys. You are adorable. Thank you for smiling at me and being so polite. I wish I had the guts to say hi, but like I said, I don't. But maybe if you're braver than I, you could say hi. I'm the cute girl in the running shorts with the big smile.

So we developed a three-step approach to landing a man where ever you work out.

(1) Drop your free weights (watch out! toes!). It is the gym equivalent to damsels in distress dropping their handkerchiefs. The man who rushes over to retrieve your 10-pounder is the chivalrous lad you'll want to set your sights on.

(2) Faint. For an even more dramatic effect, preface your fall by gently touching your wrist to your forehead. Men love that. Don't try and brace your fall with your arm, just splay out on the floor oblivious to the people lifting around you.

(3) When your man rushes to your side to help you up, thank him profusely. Adopt a thick Southern accent for this, as men usually respond better to weak women. And here is the kicker: as the paramedics are loading you in the ambulance, lean in close to your hero and say, "Thank you for helping me come to. Allow me to thank you properly." Men love innuendo. When you say it, scan his body with your eyes, and make it obvious. Guys at the gym really appreciate being objectified. Lets them know you notice what they are working for. He'll be like putty in your hands.

Hopefully we've helped make a love connection. Next week: picking up ladies in the coffee shop.

flickr photo fd